48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
*on my deathbed*
nurse: do you have any last words
me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….
*the light goes out of my eyes*
*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*
*the paper says one word only*
i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father
STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT
I swear, I will do this every single time one of my little brothers graduates from somewhere.
For all of you who are worried that there might be secret mind readers in the room just try MENTALLY SCREAMING and if anyone jumps or flinches, you know
Have you ever been so angry that yOU STARTED SPEAKING IN A WONDERFULLY ARTICULATE FASHION WITH BLAZING RAW WIT AND CUNNING REMARKS AND USING ABSOLUTELY MINDBLOWINGLY INTELLIGENT WORDS AND PHRASES THAT YOU WEREN’T EVEN AWARE YOUR VOCABULARY WAS CAPABLE OF PRODUCING
Okay well this picture has really bad quality, but let me tell you a story. There’s this boy, and his name’s Dyllon. He’s the biggest bully and he’s always throwing stuff at me in school and I get so annoyed with him like he’s so rude. But today, I wore this brown cardigan thingy and the sleeves went down just past my elbows, so you could see some of my scars. In English I went to go hand him a pen or something and he saw them and he grabbed my arm and he like stroked one of them and smiled at me and I got really red and I thought he was gonna make fun of me for them, so I turned the other way. But he grabbed me and he hugged me and told me he loved me and then he showed me his arm and he had them too and I started crying and he told me it wasn’t worth it and that it’s okay and then he gave me his number and said if I ever needed him for anything to call him and he would do anything for me, even take the bus to my house if I needed him. It was the most serious I’d ever seen him be and i just love him so so much